Writing my angries out

Alright. So its 6 days until the Wedding of the summer and 7 days until I leave once again for Bumfuck, Wisconsin aka Stevens Point. It is Sunday. I think. And I'm using today and tomorrow to get stuff done in Fargo. Which of course has lead me to here. Barnes and Noble. Of course! Actually I do have to get stuff here, but currently this is what I'm doing which may or may not be a waste of my time. Normally it would be, but right now my reason for creating yet another blog that most likely no one will read is because I'm in one of those moods on one of those days. I'm tired, moody, irritable, annoyed (which might all sound repetitive, but I can do that because nobody is actually reading this). My reason for being this way on such a sunshiny day probably is a result of many things including being stuck at a cabin with a mother who is freeeaaakkking out about a wedding which she has decided to take on way too much, a somewhat creepy guy who I finally told to back off after he would text me everyday just to say "HEY WASSSUUPPP", and I'm still in that rut where I feel like I'm losing connection with people. Maybe it's all that small talk that I had to do as a server. Working 6 or 7 days a week serving during the summer might do that to you I guess. Not that $3,500 wasn't worth it. It definitely was. But it seems to take its toll.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this summer wasn't what I expected. Not that it was bad. It was just slow. And different. According to my family, I've grown up in ways that they're just so incredibly proud of me. Which last like a minute before they go back to wedding talk. Not that I'm not excited for the wedding. I am. It will just be nice when its all over and we can get to talk about something else and my mother isn't a crazy obsessed wedding nazi. Or maybe I'm just ready to go back to school.

I'm really hoping for this year to be different. I just want to fast forward to a week after school starts. When auditions are all over and the whole "excitement" of being back wares off for everybody. And I can once again have Starbucks to myself. Unfortunately it will now take me approx 7 minutes to walk there instead of two, but i suppose I'll survive that somehow. It could be worse.

More than anything I'm just ready to go to Spain. I need a change of scenery. I want to experience things on a larger scale. I know its bad to expect to have this incredible amazing journey that I'll always remember, but more than anything I want that. No matter what I know it'll be an eye-opening experience. One I'll have to work at. But for now I'm just going to take things as they come. That doesn't only come for Spain. But life in general. Insightful, right? Maybe not so much. But since nobody reads this, it's okay!

I really need new music.

And a year and some later....

So it's been over a year since my last post, so I thought to myself. I said "Self, what better time to write a blog than a year after your last post at almost 2 in the morning when you told yourself you would get up at 10 and work out the next morn?". So here I am. If you are reading this, welcome to my blog where magical writings happen (like you couldn't tell already!). So here I go again.

And don't worry. Even though I'm a sophisticated college student who is currently in the midst of training for her waitressing job this summer, I'll try to stoop down to a level that you folk can understand.

So college. Looking back on this past year, I feel like I did a total of maybe 3 things. Those things are study (duh), spend a lot of time on facebook, and drank way too much Starbucks. All 3 which are probably a giant waste of my time. But for some reason, I feel more grown up. Must be all that coffee. Mmm I could really go for an iced caramel macchiato right about now. Too bad there are NO Starbucks here in Ottertail, MN - Population: like 15. I have an addiction. It's bad.

Besides those 3 things, I guess this year was good. A lot of it sucked actually. Like to the point where I just wanted to pick up and leave. But I had a few good friendsies here and there who carried me though. My best friend there, Marissa, is actually leaving to go to Milwaukee next year. So. You know. That's really really cool. I don't know. I honestly keep changing my mind back and forth on whether I want to be at Stevens Point or not. It's hard to keep track. For now, I'm sticking with Stevens Point. Spanish Major. Drama Minor. With the way things are going, that will probably change. But I AM going to be studying abroad in Valladolid, Spain next Spring hopefully, so I'm hoping that'll raise my spirits.

Sorry if I sound a little dumpy right now. And sorry I just said the word "dumpy". Hope you didn't think of poop or anything. Anyway. Things are just kinda frustrating right now. I'm going on my 4th day of training at work with all new people and living at the lake with my sister where currently none of my friends reside. Times can get pretty lonely. It doesn't help that the few days I was actually in Fargo, I was tired all the time so I didn't even have that much fun with my friends. AND the weather is dumpy. There I go again. Sorry. But seriously though. So depressing. I suppose I didn't really know what to expect this summer. First summer away from Trollwood and I'm already Judgy McJudgerson. I just get all freaky about meeting new people. I don't know why, but automatically when I meet new people, I just assume that they hate me unless they laugh at a joke I make or personally approach me and ask me questions or something. Which there isn't much of at good ol' Willy T's training days. But I know it'll get better. Everything just takes time. I'm just an impatient little ginger who wants everyone to like her and wants to have a fun summer. Guess we'll just have to wait and see.

I guess I'll leave you (aka NOBODY) with that. I'll keep it relatively short. Who knows! Maybe there will be more to come.

Dear future me,

please prove me wrong.

thanks

love, present me.